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0-9

Weird Al Yankovic - Everything You Know Is Wrong

Printable Version


Tab By: Michael J. Falk (ketchup@ods.ods.net)

INTRO:  [D]   [C]   [G/B]   [A]   [A7]

I was [D]driving on the [G]freeway [A]in the [D]fast lane with a
rabid [G]wolver[A]ine in my [Bm]underwear when [E]suddenly a guy
be[A]hind me in the backseat popped right [G]up and cupped
his hands across my [D]eyes.  I guessed, "Is it [G]Uncle
[A]Frank or cousin [D]Louie, is it Bob or [G]Joe or [A]Walter,
could it [Bm]be Bill or Jim or Ed or [E]Bernie or Steve,
I probably [A]would have kept on guessing but a[A7]bout
that time we crashed into the [Bm]truck, and as I'm
laying [E7]bleeding there on the [A]asphalt [D]finally I
[G]recog[D]nize the [Em]face of my [G]hibachi dealer, who
[A]takes off [A7]his pro[A]sthetic lips, and tells me:

CHORUS:
[D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, black is white,
up is [G]down and [A]short is [Bm]long, and every[E]thing
you [E]thought was just [A]so [A7]important doesn't matter,
[D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, just forget the
[C#sus]words and [F#m]sing a[Bm]long, all you need to [E]understand is 
[G]everything you [A]know is [F]wrong  [G]

I was [!]walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organs
And they took some polaroids
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I would care to go
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night
So I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling

CHORUS:
[D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, black is white,
up is [G]down and [A]short is [Bm]long, and every[E]thing
you [E]thought was just [A]so [A7]important doesn't matter,
[D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, just forget the
[C#sus]words and [F#m]sing a[Bm]long, all you need to [E]understand is 
[G]everything you [A]know is [D]wrong

INSTRUMENTAL:  [G]            [E]         [F#]        [G]   [A]
               [Cm]  [F] [G]  [Am]  [Bb]  [Am]  [Bb]  [G]   [C]
               [Dm]  [Eb]     [F]   [Gb]  [Am]  [Bb]  [G]   [C]   [A7]

I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
When I got a nasty papercut
And, well, to make a long story short
It got infected and I died
So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearly gates
And it's obvious he doesn't like
The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
He tells me that they've got a dress code
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
For all eternity
And every day he runs by screaming

CHORUS:
[D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, black is white,
up is [G]down and [A]short is [Bm]long, and every[E]thing
you [E]thought was just [A]so [A7]important doesn't matter,
[D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, just forget the
[C#sus]words and [F#m]sing a[Bm]long, all you need to [E]understand is 
[G]Everything you [A]know is ([Bm]everything you [C#m]know is)
[G]Everything you [A]know is [D]wrong
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