Weird Al Yankovic - Everything You Know Is Wrong

Tab By: Michael J. Falk (ketchup@ods.ods.net) INTRO: [D] [C] [G/B] [A] [A7] I was [D]driving on the [G]freeway [A]in the [D]fast lane with a rabid [G]wolver[A]ine in my [Bm]underwear when [E]suddenly a guy be[A]hind me in the backseat popped right [G]up and cupped his hands across my [D]eyes. I guessed, "Is it [G]Uncle [A]Frank or cousin [D]Louie, is it Bob or [G]Joe or [A]Walter, could it [Bm]be Bill or Jim or Ed or [E]Bernie or Steve, I probably [A]would have kept on guessing but a[A7]bout that time we crashed into the [Bm]truck, and as I'm laying [E7]bleeding there on the [A]asphalt [D]finally I [G]recog[D]nize the [Em]face of my [G]hibachi dealer, who [A]takes off [A7]his pro[A]sthetic lips, and tells me: CHORUS: [D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, black is white, up is [G]down and [A]short is [Bm]long, and every[E]thing you [E]thought was just [A]so [A7]important doesn't matter, [D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, just forget the [C#sus]words and [F#m]sing a[Bm]long, all you need to [E]understand is [G]everything you [A]know is [F]wrong [G] I was [!]walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr They sucked out my internal organs And they took some polaroids And said I was a darn good sport And as a way of saying thank you They offered to transport me back to Any point in history that I would care to go And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night So I could pay my phone bill on time Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yelling CHORUS: [D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, black is white, up is [G]down and [A]short is [Bm]long, and every[E]thing you [E]thought was just [A]so [A7]important doesn't matter, [D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, just forget the [C#sus]words and [F#m]sing a[Bm]long, all you need to [E]understand is [G]everything you [A]know is [D]wrong INSTRUMENTAL: [G] [E] [F#] [G] [A] [Cm] [F] [G] [Am] [Bb] [Am] [Bb] [G] [C] [Dm] [Eb] [F] [Gb] [Am] [Bb] [G] [C] [A7] I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin When I got a nasty papercut And, well, to make a long story short It got infected and I died So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter By the pearly gates And it's obvious he doesn't like The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing He tells me that they've got a dress code Well, he lets me into heaven anyway But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine For all eternity And every day he runs by screaming CHORUS: [D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, black is white, up is [G]down and [A]short is [Bm]long, and every[E]thing you [E]thought was just [A]so [A7]important doesn't matter, [D]Every[G]thing you [A]know is [D]wrong, just forget the [C#sus]words and [F#m]sing a[Bm]long, all you need to [E]understand is [G]Everything you [A]know is ([Bm]everything you [C#m]know is) [G]Everything you [A]know is [D]wrong